One Wish, Two Wish
by Caramia Pen
Summary: A rather silly and random crack!fic, in which Yugi makes a startling realization, the writer is redundant, and Yami reads a magazine.


_Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-gi-oh!, but sometimes I have to write silly things about it. I beg forgiveness from Takahashi-sensei and Konami._

One Wish, Two Wish

It was an ordinary Sunday afternoon, and Yugi Mutou was sitting at his desk, looking thoughtfully out the window as he cupped the Millennium Puzzle in both hands. He was thinking of nothing in particular (which, given the fact that he was a teenage boy with seething hormones, meant he was thinking about girls, specifically a certain pushy brunette who had big dreams of studying ballet in New York) when a sudden realization hit him with such speed and force that it could only be some sort of cheap plot device.

He took the Millennium Puzzle and brought it up to eye level, remembering how, when he had first solved it, he had wished for a group of true friends. This wish had, without a doubt, been granted, as he had effortlessly gone from a complete social pariah to being surrounded by probably the greatest (if not ,admittedly, somewhat one-dimensional and poorly developed) group of friends a person could ask for. The second time he had solved the Puzzle, in the midst of a deadly fire (which could have been in The Black Crown game store or in the abandoned warehouse where he had dueled mindslave!Bandit Keith, depending on which continuity you prefer) he had unconsciously wished to see his Other Self again. This wish had come true as well.

One wish granted....

Two wishes granted....

Then there were all the other factors: the gold, the ancient magic, the Arabian origin, the mysterious spirit dwelling inside....

It could all only mean one thing.

Quickly, Yugi stood out of his chair, and turned to face his bed, where his Other Self (AKA The Nameless Pharaoh, AKA Yami, AKA Atem, AKA Whatever-the-hoo-hah-you-want-call-him) was lying on his stomach , paging lazily through a card magazine. This development, of course, was due to lazy writing , and because it's a time-honored tradition in _Yu-gi-oh! _ fanfiction to give all the "Yami" characters their own bodies (even if it does basically rip the entire core concept of the series to shreds, thus rendering it into something that only barely resembles the actual show).

Yugi pointed at The Pharaoh in a rather dramatic fashion and exclaimed, " You're a genie, aren't you ?!"

"Huh?" The 3,000 (or 5,000 if you prefer) year-old solidified spirit muttered as he looked up from his magazine and looked at his Partner as if the boy had just been discussing the merits of a do-it-yourself-lobotomy.

"You _have _to be one! I mean, you're a spirit trapped in an ancient, gold artifact from the Middle East! You've got magical powers, and the Puzzle has already granted two of my wishes! Jeez, I can't believe I didn't see this before!"

Yami rolled his eyes and went back to looking at his magazine. "I'm not a genie, _aibou._" He said, randomly using an easily translatable and somewhat unnecessary Japanese word because....well...it wouldn't be an animé fanfic without one, right? However, Yugi was swayed neither by The Pharaoh's logic nor by his fangirl Japanese.

"I see," He said, sounding considerably less sane, "It all makes sense now. You've been holding out on me!" The teen let out a spooky-sounding chuckle. "Hah! I know what you're thinking! _'_Oh, little, ickle, Yugi will _never_ find out I'm a genie He's _waaaay_ to dense!' Well, _I've_ got news for you, pal! I found out your little secret, and now I'm going to get what I rightfully deserve!"

Once again, Yugi pointed at his Other Self in an over-the-top manner, and then paused briefly to increase the dramatic tension.

"I wish," He began, "that I could be taller!"

Yami groaned and looked up at the ceiling with a "gods help me" sort of expression.

"I told you, Partner, I'm not a genie." The exasperation was clear in his voice.

"LIES!" His partner yelled, practically knocking Yami off the bed with his excessive use of capital letters. "I KNOW YOU'RE A GENIE! AND I'LL PROVE IT! I'LL PROVE IT TO THE WORLD! AND THEN, AND ONLY THEN, YOU WILL GRANT MY WISH! AND I WILL FINALLY BE TALL!"

With that, Yugi rushed out of the room, trailing behind maniacal laughter as he went.

Yami sighed heavily, then turned back to his magazine. As he slowly turned a page, he found himself wondering, for the umpteenth time, if sealing away The Eternal Powers of Darkness had really been worth having to deal with lunacy like this on a daily basis.


End file.
